Down with the sickness

 I'm going to start this off with, I wish I was a DAD. and I don't mean this literally. I mean I wish I was a DAD in the sense that I can get sleep when I am sick, I can leave the house any time I wish without hiring a baby sitter first , I can come home and have Cinderella wait on me . I don't have to cook, clean or even put away my own laundry. However although I envy all of that , SLEEP, is what I am jealous of the most.

The past week I have been so sick with a head cold. But I am a mother of 3 kids ,all of whom are under the age of 6 and need to be supervised at all times . This means no naps for mommy. This also means that although my head is pounding ,nose running, and bones aching in pain. I don't get to be sick ...I simply get to be MOM. Especially with an oilfield man as the Dad in our home , he doesn't get home until late in the evening's as it is . Let alone a day off to help me out . That would be the day the moon turned blue and pigs grew wings.

I am jealous of the ability DADS have to not hear their children cry in the night .( seriously they can be screaming like a banshee and still he sleeps through it)

For these reasons I wish only for a day , I could be the DAD.

Did i just taste PEE???

I consider myself lucky as I have a lot of good quality friends, by good quality I mean in 20 years from now I will still be gabbing with them on the phone while I clean my floors ,long term, good for the soul girl friends.  Now I don't get to see all my friends very often , but I make sure to call everyone at least every two weeks to catch up and see what is new .

The other night I was talking to a girlfriend while I washed my floors (I'm good at multi tasking a skill you pick up when you become a mom) she is currently potting training her son, and he likes to pee places he shouldn't as every little boy does. As we  were talking she noticed a clear fluid on her counter top in the kitchen. then she asked me this "what do you think would be clear and salty on the counter ", " what ? you TASTED it ???? OMG...ummm   PEE!!!!" was my response.

Thinking that she had just hit an all time new low and just tasted her sons pee, all  could do was laugh . To be honest I probably would of tasted it to . I mean come on , its on a kitchen counter ,could be anything .

Thank god my friend happened to notice a salt shaker on the other side of the kitchen spilled every where . This means that maybe , just maybe she tasted salt water instead of pee. Oh please little guy I hope you were trying to be a mad scientist and create a salt potion .

To say the least my thoughts are with her . And I know if I never need a strange substance tasted who to go to :)

I may not be talking to a wall afterall

I have been working very hard to loose my baby weight and I feel like I am doing pretty good . For Christmas my love got me some Under Armour gear and that stuff is better than Lulu Lemon! I have become addicted to the crop pants I got as a gift, and by addicted, I mean when I have to wash them I wait naked by the dryer waiting for it to DING.

My love must have noticed my dedication to my beach body videos, and my un willingness to wear anything else . As today when he came home I was told to close my eyes. Thinking he was dragging me down the hall to catch our kids doing something ridiculously cute , I played along . A short Blind walk down the hallway and a run in with my nose against the door trim (ouch) I was told to open my eyes.

Laid out neatly on my sons bed was a complete under armour outfit, running jacket, shirt, and new pants!!!  I felt like it was a scene in a movie except instead of a dress and a date with a man I got gym clothes and a date with my treadmill .

This was completely unexpected. And such a sweet surprise. Its wonderful to know that even though I may feel like I'm talking to a wall sometimes that he is listening. Good night everyone , and take  time to surprise the ones you love with something un expected xoxox

vegetable or sex toy

I will start with saying that my MR is a rig manager, with that being said his crew shows him a lot of weird things every day. One time he came home and showed me a video of a woman masturbating with an eggplant....A FUCKING EGGPLANT!!!! Since that day grocery shopping in the produce isle has never been the same. I have never eaten egg plant nor will I ever , after seeing that.  Now I am not a prude my any means , I have a few toys myself , but come on lady an eggplant!!! How about visiting a sex store instead of the produce isle. I cant help but wonder how she got that in? was this after a baby? even after three kids I have no desire for anything bigger than what my man carries.

Why would somebody even desire a vegetable? Is there such thing a vegetable rapist ? seriously WTF.  This is why I will always be laughing in the grocery store ...wondering if someone has a crush on my cucumber ....sorry ladies this one will soon be apart of a salad.

My house may be cleaner ,But im still a good mom

Its been bothering lately all the talk about moms with a dirty house. Apparently if you have dishes in the sink you fed your kids, dirty laundry you got them dressed that day, a mess every where  means you played with your kids . Well I am about to call BULLSHIT. I am a stay at home mom of 3 kids.  One of which is still nursing , one who is always wanting me to play with her , and another who is in kindergarten every other day. I play with my kids , Cook for my kids , and when we leave the house I get them dressed !! Shockingly for the most part I can keep up with the laundry, clean the messes , and do the dishes .But I also don't play on my phone all day or sit in front of the TV for extended periods of time. I am not judging anyone for having a messy house ,But I just want the same. I am so TIRED of being told I have OCD for wanting my floors clean ...NO OCD is having everything bleached or alphabetically arranged .I just happen to have a small child who loves to put things in her mouth and 2 other children who love to make messes on the floor. So basically my cleaning is preventing a choking hazard.  Me having a presentable house doesn't make me any less of a mother than YOU. It just means I make cleaning my house a priority(most days). End of rant ...

Tooth Fairy

Its hard for me to remember a lot about my child hood, I remember small moments, important events, basically bits and pieces. Not many people can remember much. I am trying to remember loosing my first tooth, I can't....so I wanted to make this milestone very special for my son so he has a chance of remembering it. Last night his loose tooth was hanging so I encouraged him to eat an apple knowing that it would push it further out of its "gum hole". It worked ...This tooth was loose for a week now, and after eating an apple it was pretty much just hanging there...Dad volunteered to pull it out as I was a little to squeamish for the job. A tiny knot made with dental floss around the tooth and a quick pull did the trick..EXCEPT, the knot wasn't tight enough and the tooth disappeared into my cream coloured carpet .. face palm. A quick search and the tooth was recovered . My boy was so excited .He knew he would get something special if he put the tooth under his pillow .

I made him a special certificate for loosing his first tooth, signed by the tooth fairy, sprayed his $5 with blue sparkles, and drew a little fairy door on my wall so he knew where the fairy entered. And left little foot prints on his pillow to make the fairy seem more magical.

Its these little moments ,when they believe in such magic and the excitement on their faces that make me feel like a great mom. I love to share in that excitement with them....its sad to know that this means he will loose all his baby teeth shortly and become an adult , all way to fast . A great reminder to slow down, play more and enjoy the small MAGICAL moments.

redneck princess

"I need to cut this out" says my three year old daughter with a smile on her face .She was referring to a cute little heart picture she received in a McDonalds happy meal this afternoon from a friend. un aware of what her real intentions were I let her grab the child safe scissors and venture off. HUGE MISTAKE!!!! My son and his friends were playing so well yet noisily in the bedroom that it perfectly disguised her mischievous silence. It took myself and my friend who was visiting 25 minutes to work out ....That was all the time she needed. My princess had not only cut out those cute little hearts from her happy meal, she also cut out mini "hearts" into clothing ...... WHY??? "Mommy I made Camouflage" she later said .....UM NO, you made holy pants !!!

But really how in the actual fuck did she manage to cut that many holes with "child safe" scissors?......